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Shaashisms

Twenty-Something and Still Going Strong...

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Drink Stealers & Their Sneaky Ways

You know what really pisses me off? My drinks always get nicked, whether it be a glass of water, a cup of tea or a carefully balanced cocktail..they just always get nicked! I seem to need to go to the bar at any party at least twice as much as anybody else, with a result that most bartenders (or people tending the bar, depending on how formal the party is) must think of me as not just an alcoholic but an incredibly forgetful one at that because I also seem to go through most glasses than most people.
How strange it would be if all this was being done specifically to prevent me from drinking. How bizarre would it be if in fact the whole of my social life was one huge intervention like a warped version of the Truman Show?
Ok now that is totally ridiculous even I admit that.
So should I be taking this as a compliment to my drink mixing skills? That people are just waiting to pinch my glass? Or should I take it as a slur at my sobriety? That people just assume I'm so shattered I can't keep track of my drinks anymore?
The thing is that more often than not my drinks will be an entirely different color from everyone else's...the thing is I like to experiment...it's sort of an extension of my cooking obsession (you know a pinch of this a dash of that), so I can usually spot the people who have pinched it. And more often than not it's the same nefarious culprit.
You know who you are, you've been nicking my drinks, my fries and my last bite all my life.
But even on the rare occasions when its not the usual suspect, what is one to do? How can you march up to someone and demand they give you your drink back? They'd think you were a)Drunk b)Mad c)Incredibly petty and d)Trying to chat them up.
And admittedly if someone came up to me and demanded I returned their stolen drink I would think they were a)Drunk b)Mad c)Incredibly Petty and d)Trying to chat me up.
Oh well I guess there are worse things in life...maybe I should start marking my glasses with a big lipstick X...but even then, should some bold charlatan make off with it I still wouldn't be able to march up to them and demand it back for fear that they might think I was a)Drunk b)Mad c)Incredibly petty and d)Trying to chat them up.

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